Coordinating Thanksgiving with Aging Loved Ones: Tips For a Meaningful, Low-Stress Holiday

As Thanksgiving weekend approaches, it can be an exciting time for lots of good food and precious time with relatives. For families with aging loved ones, it can also be a difficult or stressful time. Some may be experiencing memory loss or mobility restrictions, which can make the plans more challenging to navigate. It is important to prioritize the well-being of everyone involved, so it can be a time filled with love and gratitude. Here are some tips to have a meaningful, and low-stress holiday.

Be Realistic

It’s important to set realistic expectations, both for your loved ones and for yourself. As people age, their energy levels, mobility, and memory can change from year to year. What worked last Thanksgiving may not work this year.

Ask yourself:

• Will they need transportation to and from the gathering?

• Are they still comfortable cooking or hosting?

• Do they need physical accommodations?

You may need to step in more this year by picking them up, preparing a few of their dishes together rather than having them do it alone, or hosting the gathering at a location that’s easier for them. Being proactive about these details shows care and helps prevent last-minute stress.

Involve Them in Planning

One of the easiest ways to make your aging loved one feel included is to invite them into the planning process. While they might not have the same abilities they once did, many seniors still cherish their role in family traditions. They want to feel useful, heard, and connected.

• Ask what dishes they would love to have this year, or if they would like to change the location.

• See if they want to help prepare something - even if it’s just peeling vegetables.

• Let them help set the table or share stories about past Thanksgivings.

Involving your loved one empowers them to participate in ways that are comfortable and meaningful. Remember, it’s okay to modify plans to meet their current abilities.

Be Mindful of Energy Levels

Holidays are filled with excitement, but they can also be physically and emotionally overwhelming. Be mindful of your loved one's energy levels and attention span throughout the day.

• Choose a gathering time that aligns best with their needs.

• Offer a quiet room or space away from the noise if it gets too loud or busy.

• Check in frequently.

Being aware of their physical and emotional well-being can help prevent exhaustion and keep the holiday positive for everyone.

Be Present

For many seniors, this may be one of the few social events they experience all week, or even all month. It is important to engage with your loved one and be truly present.

• Put your phone away.

• Sit beside them.

• Listen and include them in conversation.

Thanksgiving with aging loved ones might require some extra thought and effort, but it doesn't have to be complicated. With being flexible, compassionate, and present, you can create a meaningful holiday for everyone involved.